Unseen Strength.

When i was younger, i believed the toys that i was bought were “born” in the particular city and would have the appropriate accent.  Admittedly most of these were transformers and i would have a slight rivalry between say those that would come from bradford and leeds(though in truth this was more of a factor as i reached the age of 13/14) just to add a little spice to the stories i acted out when i played.

Now your probably wondering why i am telling you this, well simpley because  its interesting how we humanise things around us especially in our times of need or to help us to understand something better.  This hasn’t been truer than the last three weeks for me.

When my grandad past away the end of 2007 i was given his walking stick.  Yet since i’ve used it a few times.  Originally i used when i dressed up as the riddler the following year, which was great fun may i add but also for more practicle uses.  See i have soft tissue damage in both my knees which flares up every so often so this stick comes in quite handy especially has i have had two bad cases in the last four years, the latter being over the last three weeks leaving me rather frustrated and low.

During this period, i have made small progress but for every two steps forward it has been at least three back which hasn’t helped my mood.  Yet for whatever reason i’ve felt that my grandad is with me in the form of this stick.  I was never overly close to him, not until he was diagnosed with cancer and i began to help look after him along with my dad.  During that time our bond strengthed and i am grateful of that time we had.  And to a certain extent part of me feels that when i am using this stick he in return is helping me.

Thankfully, i am starting to see a little light at the end of the tunnel and i’m looking forward to going back to work.  i am also grateful for the support i’ve had from gemma in what has been a rather tough few weeks.  But the main reason for this ramble is simpley to say thanks grandad, where ever you are.

The Fire Still Burns.

Well we have to start somewhere…….

so this kicks off blogging on tumblr and to be honest i was hoping it would be under better circumstances.  I wouldn’t say i’ve had the day from hell but i would say its been abit of a trial, especially seeing as i’ve spent most of today in hospital with my mum.

Not a complete shock as i work there, but its still not great having to come out of work as such to see to a member of your family when you haven’t been working there that long.  Now, i know this sounds selfish and true it sounds a tad harsh but its also the last thing i need considering how this year has gone for me so far.

On the plus side i have a job which pays more and i am enjoying, however if i knew that this would come at a price with regards my personal life perhaps i wouldn’t have been so eager to take it.  Infact if i think about it i could probably pinpoint where things have gone wrong but i shall leave that for another time.

The mainthing is although my mum is being kept in for observation due to lack of oxygen in her system( she is a copd paitent if your are wondering) there is nothing else wrong with her so she should be out in a few days. yet i find myself asking various questions as certain things building up to her admittion don’t completely add up.  So i suppose i will have to wait and see. until then….

The Fire Still Burns